A Day at a Time
by Kara Papas
Summary: OCC storyline. This story is going to be about the difficulties of life.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Well it has been a long time. For quick mention, thanks to all the new readers that have read my works. For all the comments good and bad. For the comments that come from anonymous posters who like to out right bash what I have written; take a moment to think before you write. This is an open forum. If you have some intense criticism to dish out please be a chap and put your name with it to stand by your angry mentions.

Disclaimer: All characters belong to sunrise.

A New Beginning

There comes a day when we all have to realize that the past is behind us. Dreams may be dashed and all out destroyed, but like the phoenix we all can rise again. My name is Shizuru Fujino. I am much older than what I am. I feel this way. Long days have gone by...years have gone by since the carnival ended. The darkness that consumed us all has dirty a section of our souls.

"Shizuru, you can't possibly be this stupid."

That voice, with those words, murder to my soul. When did it turn this way? My craziness took its toll and now I am a shell.

"I don't know why I even bothered dealing with you..."

Don't you know I wanted the world from you, and what did you become?

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That is a quick preview of a new story. The chapters will vary in length. This will be an OCC story. If this offends your sensibilities maybe you should try another writer.


	2. It Started Here

A/N: As before mentioned; this is return from a very long hiatus. Thanks for the reviews.

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Sunrise.

It Started Here

The years after the carnival we all set out for our lives in the real world. Mai Tokhia left Fuuka for a bigger city in Japan. She always stayed in with me to check in on Natsuki. Mai always knew how to brighten anyone's day; I never knew how effective her bubbliness could be. She after all went to Tokyo University. Always working as hard as she could for the love of her of life; Takumi.

I ended up taking a vacation from schooling after high school and a few years of college to be with Natsuki more. It is funny how life works out. After all the chaos had settled everyone assumed we'd just shack up. Not so. She ended up disappearing and I've already mentioned what caused my time to be consumed. I left the world behind too. I had to find myself and settle my demons. I needed to in order to be someone that could be loved. At the very least someone that even I could tolerate being stuck alone with. It wasn't until one night in a smoky lounge did I find myself reunited with my beloved Natsuki. God had always intended us to be, but when the carnival was over my life was too despondent and she would appear when I was beyond the bottom of bottle.

The night was suppose to be a long awaited reunion of old friends, but she and I were the only two that showed up. So we just chatted the time away, not even getting lost in bottle to encourage the socializing. It just bubbled to the surface on our own. After the lounge closed we sat in the living room of my little run down home. Hours and hours went by and before we knew it the sun was rising and we had to say goodbye. A day could not go by as anxiety built within my heart wishing that she was thinking of me as obsessively as I was thinking of her. Now when I say obsessively I do not mean psychotic obsession with hell driven murderous intent of owning her. I had already grown too much to fall or succumb to my teenage ways. I talked to the acquaintances I had made over the years and they did not seem to approve of my interest. I had always assumed they were worried for me. It wasn't until one night I realized I was wrong.

"You know Shi...I think you're getting yourself in too deep."

"You always say that. I really just don't know what to do. I mean I haven't heard from her in three days."

"SEE, she was just stringing you along."

"You don't get it do you! There is something about her and me. It's like we have been together before. It's incredible draw. Like I'm breathing for the first time again. Like I can see the light for the first time."

"Don't you go quoting Disney movies now. Seriously, I think that you are so fucking desperate for love that any old fuck will do."

"I'm going to ignore you. I have to go to work soon. So do me a favor and let yourself out while I get changed."

"I wish you'd listen to me. You get hurt so easily. And you need to get a better job."

"A job is a job. I don't mind working in a kitchen. Now get out."

I went to work as happy as I could after that delightful conversation with a person I can't even recall. When I got off work I was chatting with one of the waitresses who wanted me to go out with her and few friends. I was about to say yes when my phone buzzed with a fury of text messages. My eyes opened wide. And shouted that I need a rain check and jumped in my car. My heart started to go haywire. My mind read over the message again and again. _I'm in the hospital. I got into a fight. I don't know when it happened but a baseball bat crashed across my ribcage. I have a broken rib and a punctured lung. All I know is you are all I can think about. I'm sorry if this freaks you out._

All I could say back was _Are you okay? Please don't go home. Come to me. Let me take care of you. Please. I don't mind. I want you here._ I love you. I don't it; I know I love you. That is what I wanted to say towards the end. And that night she came over. And that was the night we started what we have. This love that will tie us together until the day we die.

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More to come later.


	3. What Time May Bring

A/N: Thanks again for the awesome reviews. Again this is a story that is going to have some rough edges to it. Also chapters will varying in length.

Disclaimer:All characters belong to Sunrise

What Happens With Time

It started with one horrible incident. As much anger as I have for that night in the long run I could not be any happier. The message I had on phone left my heart racing. It only took a hour after I got off work pacing and chain smoking like a maniac did thoughts race so fast thru my head. I knew in that moment that was truly in love with Natsuki Kuga. I felt as if all meaning I ever knew that was just beginning to come into the light was about to be abolished for all time. I could never be released by this incredible strong love that I had not confessed. I had to tell her. Once the affirmation dawned my door had knock echo from it. I ran to it open knowing it had to be her. It had to be Natsuki.

I opened the apartment door to see Natsuki standing there with a bit of blood on her white tank top that had some dirt and gas stains on it as well. Her face was drain and her eyes showed signs of heavy medication. I could control myself and wrapped my arms around her. She grunted a bit placed her hands on my shoulders pushing back. I apologized and she smiled at me.

"Let me explain.." Natsuki gently huffed as she walked in with me. "I got into a fight with a younger guy at the shop. I told him to back off and he just kept up. I did defend myself, but our manager grabbed thinking I started the fight. He held my arms back leaving me wide open for attack and the jack off who started got a number good licks in. My manager let me go and the guy grabbed the old baseball bat we kept in the shop after the manager left. The fuck broke across my back. He broke one of my ribs which punctured a lung."

My face was white and my heart filled with rage, but Natsuki gave me a look and continued with her story.

"Don't worry baby, I'm fine. I got the sorry fuck. " She laughed and then grimaced a bit. "I busted his nose with one punch and the second punch broke his jaw. Plus, I kicked out his right knee. He isn't going to mess with me again." Her green eyes locked onto mine. "I have to be honet though. I was so scared when the adernaline died down as I was in the hospital. I had never been in this kind of pain, and as they were checking out my injuries...all I could think was you. I needed to see again. I did not want to leave this world knowing that you'd never know how i feel for you. I had to see you and hold. Kiss you. Feel you in my arms. " Natsuki's eyes started to water. She was about to get up when I put my hand on her leg.

"Natsuki..." my voice was quiet. She smiled at me again. God that smile makes me heart race.

"its late...you have to work tomorrow. I'll go home." Her voice was so tired and rough.

"No, you are staying here with me." My voice was steady and strong. Natsuki sat down without complaint.

"Okay...I'm all yours. Always and forever. For however long you will want me. I do not care as long as you are here with me." Natsuki voice was slightly vurnable sounding. I leaned forward giving her a kiss.

"Then I will want you forever Natsuki. And I will be with you forever..." I love you. Those were the words unspoken, but clearly they were understood with all the dramatic cliches that poured from our lips.

The night that made it all happen. I can't regret it. The relationship between us caused the social network I had developed while living in this area to dissolve. It wasn't the social divide from social interaction that was killing. I believe that social divide saved me from the world of two faced people, bigots, hypocrites, friends of convenience, and me from becoming a drunken whore. The chance to leave parts of my life behind when most of it left because of _this_. I should not really say _this_ so harshly; not like that.

How do i describe what _this_ is? The way it sounds should not be as harsh and gritty as my emotions make it out to be. The term _ this_ should be describing more or less a walk on a cloud top with the occasional gap, storm cloud, and wind turbulence. The sky is still full of light with microscopic flexs of water making the light scatter showing the beauty of a prism. It is a great way to think of my life with my true love. I can say it is a lot more than what I expected, but then again we exist in an imperfect world with a love that dares to be perfect. A love that fought against the forces of world making it become stressed and bent. It makes me think how I much I want to take away all the wrongs, evils and pains from my true love. However life is unpredictable making some days better than the other and I desire the goods the most with fills my heart with constant guilt.

Perhaps I should describe the simplest act love from my dear Natsuki. The simplest parts of love can always be captured in a look and a kiss. The way her emerald eyes stared into my red ones say it all. She says to me as she looks at, unabashed, that there is no one else in the world she could ever be with because I am it. I'm that gift from universe for her; her part of the heavens. I know this is true for me to as her kisses bring a static charge to my being. She cups the side of my face so gently as she pulls me for that kiss. Lips gently brushing. The kiss that makes a woman's body tense with hot rush. The heat in that rush traveling down and across body making your skin so much more sensative. She makes that kiss bring back the pounding heart beat of high schooler.

The days are long and apart. Time apart makes our love that much stronger. I would _hate_ to ever regret this love. The thought does cross my mind on those darker days. Just as the one day that started every thing. That night made this love become a tragic love tale.

As we laid on the bed under the under the sheets curled in each others arms she spoke words my heart to this moment still has to come terms with.

"Shizuru...I'm dying...not like in a year or two, but I have been diagnosed with a terminal disease...there is no cure. Are you sure you want to be with me?"


	4. Sweet Child

A/N: Next chapter took awhile to write. Mainly due to the fact work actually had been busy and i don't generally grab my computer to do any writing. Day job makes hobby writing semi painful. Anyhow, I was reading over my other chapters. My biggest apologies on not catch ALL the icky errors. I'll try better to get them this time around.

a/n2: just realized that I somehow ended up posting the same chapter twice...sorry about that.

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Sunrise

Sweet Child

It's like the fear that a child suffers from for the first time when a parent leaves them for the first time; they are alone. They can hear the hush shallow ticking of the heart and air washing in and out of the lungs. The moment is so new and daunting. The concept is completely cold. I felt this as her words echoed. I could taste the fear. dank and metallic. My heart beat hard as I could hear a muffled voice ringing me back into life.

"I would not blame you if you wanted to leave me..." her beautiful voice sounded so broken.

I had no words as the fear buried itself inside, deep inside, my very being. Tears ran freely from my eyes. What could I do or say?

"I just found you...how can I let you go?" My voice was trembling and my body was pulled into her arms in strong embrace.

"I just don't want you to..." She sighed and her voice went quiet. "I don't want you to suffer as I go thru this disease."

"Don't you dare assume to know how I feel about this...I love you." My tears kept flowing as I spoke my peace. "I just found you. I spent my life waiting for you; only you. Always and forever."

I turned from her embrace to face Natsuki only to see tears running down her face, and yet there was a longing expression. She beckoned to me. My chest heaved as our lips locked for what seemed like an eternity.

Always that same static burn.

So our relationship spun out of control in a good way. We took steps to make this work and last. THere were dreadful moments where my mind would drift. It would go and reality would set in and the fights would happen. The screaming and yelling made me believe I was going crazy. I could not mentally handle those times we fought. My mind would take me somewhere else; somewhere dark. In that darkness I thought all was lost.

"_You are never lost...i will find you even in the darkness..._" Natsuki would always say this to me after we came to our senses and confessed to her my mind slipping.

Moments like these, right? I was once sent a story about virtues and vices. In this story it spoke how all the virtues and vices played a game of hide and seek. All that was left was the vice named Madness. Madness found all of them one by one expect Love. Madness was so frustrated by the time it discovered where Love was it had blinded Love. So that was how love was always led by madness. I should have thanked the person who sent that to me because this rings true to my heart. How mad, crazy, this love makes me for my sweet Natsuki. I am blinded so much by this love. the mind will ramble so when touched with the woes of love. As certains points I wish I were the daring woman I was, but who would want a bottom of the barrel drunk.

"A day a time..." her voice was as bubbly just as it was all those years ago back at Fuka. Mai and I had had never been close, but our mutual affections for Natsuki made a ground for our friendship.

I sighed as I laid out across the bed as held out my phone above me. Video chatting was Mai's idea. She enjoy being able to see me while we talked since she learned how to read my facial expressions.

"Shizuru-chan..." with one look from me I stopped her in mid-speech. Mai's face went blank and then a light went off. She smiled and broke into laughter. I could only imagine that I might have reminded her of Natsuki with the look I gave her.

"WOAH! Okay Shizuru...no chan. Promise." Mai snickered. "You are so married to Natsuki."

My face went red and heart sang with with secret joy at the idea of being married to Natsuki.

"Ara, Mai do you think I would be a suitable wife for Natsuki?" I playful commented back. We both laughed and I hadn't realized that Natsuki had actually walked into the room.

"My wife...sounds nice." A husky voice comment before my phone was gently pulled from my hand.

"What's happening?" Mai's voice chirped as the raven haired phone bandit turned the phone to face her. "Ooooooooo!" Natsuki laughed at the response from Mai.

"Nice to see you again. What has it been? Five years?" Natsuki said with an expression of deep sadness.

"Natsuki...it's okay. It's just time passed. Talk later, ne?" Mai said in motherly tone to Natsuki as if she was Mai's child.

Natsuki hadn't talked to Mai in about eight years. I never knew why or asked. Then again Natsuki and I didn't talk to each other. I could only face after drinking down to the bottom of a bottle.

Again Natsuki's voice called out to me. "Shizuru...Shizuru" She softly called out to me. I quickly looked to her as she lay on the bed by me.

"What's wrong my love?" Her voice bewitching as always casting a spell on me to tell her the truth.

"I was think about then...I was such a monster. Around the time you and Mai stopped talking." I said with guilt.

"That isn't who you are...that's isn't you." Natsuki sighed and she pulled me over holding my body tight. "I love you, and I will love you long after I have gone from this world because you are my world."

Her words of love make everything better. She loves me, and that is all I'll ever need.


End file.
